Recently I was at a networking event where the speaker was describing the contrast of authentic in person relationships vs social media relationships. While I agreed with the basic premise that personal relationships are more powerful than media based relationships. I will argue that the influence is not as great as we might imagine. Before I explain why the rest of my experience will illustrate the biggest disconnect I see between social relationships vs personal relationships.
In this networking meeting the speaker continued to argue that his results from using Linkedin as a relationship builder and influencer were very weak in comparison to calling someone and asking for the same thing. This speaker continued to share that he hired someone to connect and send messages to people regarding an event he wanted them to go to. From his results he said it was a failure. His conclusion was that you get a better result by meeting people in person and developing real authentic relationships.
Now while this speaker had valid points I saw him as an example of why people give up on social media as a networking tool and as an influencing medium. The simple explanation is “delayed response” A majority of people want instant results, they want instant reaction and if they don’t get it they move on. When we are in front of someone speaking to them our non verbal reaction provides an instant response. When social media was first introduced people reacted quickly and that was an expectation. As time moved on more social networks divided our attention and as a result the effectiveness decreased.
To combat the influx of social media options the simple solution that I have discovered is “be authentic”
Using Linkedin as an example I will identify how social media can be as effective in influencing people as traditional belly to belly conversations. Before I begin I want to explain that Linkedin is a plain and boring platform to work with and most people are not responsive; but with a few simple tweaks Linkedin has been a valuable asset in my efforts to curry influence.
I have listed the top 3 things that are required to make the most of this social network.
- Build a Real Network – I have about 15k connections on Linkedin. About 14500 are worthless to me, when I started out I missed the true purpose of social media and the best way to use it. Now everywhere I go I send a connection request to everyone I meet. When they connect I send a message, and I keep sending messages that are specific about them and are not selling anything other than a meeting depending on what I can do for them.
- Communicate Value – When I send a message through Linkedin it can be about our last meeting something I learned about them, or something that we can laugh about together. Over time I communicate my interest in them, but over time if I am consistent I not only am developing a real relationship but my past conversations will help me to be more specific when I have a large request.
- Communicate Often – By posting through your feed and sending personal messages when appropriate the result will be that you will have a stronger and lasting impression. Because you will probably see these people in the future at another event when you speak in person you the reaction to you will be more favorable.
Common mistakes in using social media is that it’s just for fun, politics or causes. The truth is that social media is a reflection of who you are. So the big takeaway is be wise about who you invite into your network and be smart about what you post. The other mistake is believing that every social network is the same. Linkedin is designed for people who want to do business, or be apart of a business. Facebook is designed as a social information center. It’s best use is for personal use, but with fb ads it can be used to influence people like commercials influence people on TV. Twitter is designed to help people share short messages and media with little filtering.
Finding your voice is the key to success using social media and being consistent in how you build and communicate will give you the advantage when you meet or speak in person.